Archive for September, 2011

Stay at Home Jihad

September 22, 2011

Everything falls apart.

The houses of tax-exempt bastards won’t repair their windows.  The streets crumble, bridges collapse, retaining walls give way to the weight of the hillsides, and worst of all the audio and video fall out of synch on Netflix streaming.  This doesn’t seem to bother my son.  He doesn’t care that Grover’s mouth is flopping open and shut when the monster is notably mute.  I, however, find it disconcerting.  I need to do something about it.  What will I do?  I will make a note of it.  I will take pictures of it.  I will stay at home.. a stay at home dad on a stay at home jihad.

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11 Hour Day

September 22, 2011

Normally, a day is about nine hours long.  I get the boy, change his diaper – possibly the bedding too if he’s managed to wet himself through – cook the oatmeal, spoon feed him and then set him about some solo business amongst his numerous cheap plastic toys.  What comes next are the dishes, and hopefully I’ll remember to feed myself.  Self-care goes out the window when you’re caring for someone else.  It’s not surprising for me though.  Before the boy came along I forgot meals all the time.  I’d write right over them.  That’s the other problem.  I used to write, and now the time for that has evaporated like piss off a crib sheet.  There are two ways I deal with myself: write or drink.  The left crutch and the right crutch.  Tonight calls for the right crutch.

Nine hours vs. eleven.  The difference is two hours, and it doesn’t seem like much, but the additional time weighs on me and numbs my faculties beyond any literary redemption.  One more diaper change… One more feeding… One more insipid book reading… One more song by the Wiggles… And I will crack.

Daddy drinks.  O, yes, Daddy drinks.