7 Demons of How We Answer

Columbine was never a thing
anymore than Hiroshima or 9/11
all the demons come home to congregate, to nestle in our heads:
Insecurity is the one who knows
the end is the end
Faith is she who knows failure cannot resurrect
Conviction fears nothing more than being half right
Despair is always
Hope is the vote indecisive
Patience never reaches a finish
and Objectivity will tear your mind apart
rape it
to shreds and ribbons –
confetti for angry souls lacking imagination
in the big free fall to get, get it, get it…
and forget it
where letting go and forgetting descend into collapse
demons ascend in constructs
of response
how do we survive
when survival swallows the horror of our sad loneliness,
one we cannot do without,
but one we see abusing us
for all the worth of a quick God
in a slow furnace
where the fires blowout in tasks,
tasks of the fortunate few
lost in exile
forever expelled
by forensics of the greatest hell
left alone
to rest in the dark
where the answers are clearer when the vision is not
to the ways we answer:
what do you want to be?
where will you go?
how do you intend to do that?
when are you going to grow up?
who would love you? – and why?
seriously, what are you going to do,
dear Jesus, oh, sweet lovely – just what the fuck are you going to do now?

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