Class

in Abyss 101 you will learn
how it swallows you up
not much else is to be revealed
endless emptiness
self-loathing
dreams of lustful delusion
but you already knew
all that
but if you might come to choose
should you, would you
The Abyss as a major
get more into the specifics
many new things, small
unkind, helpless
deceptive joy
awaits your discovery
through erudition
an exploration of how you are you
much there is to learn
in fun, mutual pleasure
you will be taught fear
the pain of doubt
lessons in worrisome inadequacy
nothing – your actions
none of them – satisfactory
forever trapped in this syllabus
as a fresh-blooded girl
crying her menstrual self asleep
into night terrors of uncle rape
and boyfriend laughter
these are the particulars that advance the degree
to where alcohol and drugs smile
friends you never had who pledge loyalty
unto you
eternal
as more humans – acquaintances
and acquaintant lovers
move your sheets, blanket your thoughts
make you theirs
in them, their thoughts
inside others is your true abyss
where you live or die
by rejection, acceptance
frustration and fruits of joy
in this class, this abyss
this classroom Abyss
you are outside looking in
inside wanting out
always out-classed
endlessly underclassman
until you extend your hand out
to these honest pals
hire them on
make them work for you
pushing yourself up
one step
in class

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