I Wish I Was in Deutschland

I go 20%
not to exceed a dollar a drink
tonight at three-fifty per
take 35 cents
times 2
70 cents or a buck forty
every two
in this way I am quite particular
so I go
a dollar tip the first
50 cents the second
and alternate like that
from there on
exceeding 20 percent
by just a little dime
this I deem adequate
it isn’t noteworthy
tipping this way
certainly I’m gaining
no special service
but obviously
I’m just looking to get by
do right by the bartender
without killing my wallet
through gratuitous philanthropy
after all, in Germany
I’ve been
they don’t tip at the bar
In Germany
businesses have this practice
quite foreign to America
of paying their workers
a wage they can get by living on
without having to rely on the charity
of those they serve
I wish it were that way here
I doubt it ever will be
I’m a realist and a drunk and old
I’ll leave changing the system
to sober young idealists

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