The Oinkster

don’t change now
that you’re middle-aged
and overweight
carry on as you were
would you stop
cheating on your spouse
because you fear
with one more infidelity
you’ll lose her
you’ll not find another
who would consider
betrothing herself
to your sagging ass
flagging cock and beer gut
keep marching pig
through bedrooms of strangers
through McDonald’s drive-thrus
why quit today
what are you gonna do
learn to cook
scrub pots
delight in subtle combinations
of spices and herbs
p’shaw! rubbish!
soldier on
sucking the golden bounty
out of long neck bottles
there’s an off-duty nurse
giving you the eye
you still got it
she’s got a purse full of Percocet
you got an open tab
and a belly full of beef
the kids are all out of high school
who does a broken home really effect
this years Mustangs are looking good
don’t you deserve one
if only you could afford it, but…
god damn wife and god damn kids
god damn dental and god damn medical
stuck in a hole that’s what you are
so it’s understandable
to stick yourself in a few holes for a good time
who can blame you
bitch at home that’s who
fuck her ~ tonight’s your night
a man’s right
his inalienable right – the pursuit of pleasure
eat, drink and be merry
let off steam
if boys can’t be boys
then however else
are you gonna feel young again


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