Religions worldwide denounced them
there were countries so backward
they were put to death by stone
politicians blamed their actions
on hurricanes, earthquakes and floods
acts of terror were attributed
to their growing acceptance
as recently as half a century ago
civilized western nations
would punish them by chemical castration
on the streets
they were subject to taunts, threats, ridicule
and inflamed unreasoning violence
to openly defame them as a group
could in places (such as the US south) reap political profit
as they continued to protest
to fight for equal rights
all around
in darkened bars
on screaming head TV news
and in hallowed halls of conservatism
a discussion brewed, concerning their cause
there must be more to it
than simply stamping out homophobia
something sinister and savage
had to be at the dark heart of the gay agenda

Mostly, those who spent feverish hours
daydreaming about what the perverse goals may be
concluded it had to do with children
with feminizing culture
or possibly reducing the average penis size
many theories were put forward
to say there wasn’t one
for every day of the week
every week of the year
would be to understate radically
how much time straight men
spent thinking about homosexual acts
but as it so often is with gentleman and scholars
of the far rightwing breed
reality is far beyond their imagination
and the closely guarded secret
of the queer revolution
remained unknown
until the day it jumped up and bit them in the ass

All across the globe
in abandoned subway tunnels
forgotten subterranean smuggler’s routes
cellars of population dense high rises
the breeding pits writhed with life
waiting for the night of the long fangs to come
genetically engineered faggot vipers
their bulging glands dripping lustful homotoxin
a single milligram of which
will have an honest-to-God-fearing evangelical preacher
in ass-less chaps, donning a feather boa
waving a rainbow flag
while marching down Main street
but no bite gets only one mg
as the average homotoxic load
packs an 850 mg punch

The Earth will be one big bathhouse
civilization will collapse
in widespread riots
when world lube consumption
outstrips production by the hundreds
of thousands
of gallons
this is the end game
that nobody saw coming
the doomsday clock leaps ahead
the countdown is on
fifteen seconds to midnight
see that little round hole
in the wall of the stall
the snake slithering through
is for you


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