Don

I worked the machine with Don
we had the Disney job
black plastic trays
impressed with the likenesses
of Mickey, Donald, Goofy
it was some shit for kids
they’d pour in candy goop
let it harden
and have a mouse, duck or dog lollipop
I scooped the things up
stacked them in a cardboard box
taped it up
threw the box on a skid
and that was it
from 11pm to 7am
to pass the time
I’d start at the beginning of a movie
and run every line, every scene
recalling it all
but Don, he’d interrupt
in his defense
he didn’t know he was interrupting anything
He’d start in with something like
“How wath your weekend?
You get laid?”
“No, Don. I work third shift.
How am I going to meet a woman?”
“Oh, they’re out there.
You gotta huthle,” he’d say
Don didn’t care about my weekend
Don wanted to boast
about women
the blowjobs, the fucks, the tits they had
the titty fucks
how he’d bang ‘em so hard
they couldn’t walk
how tight their pussies were
they practically cut the circulation to his dick
“Who needth a cockring
with conthtrictor cunt?” he asked
I stood there doing my job
the rat, the fowl, the mutt
empty heads
waiting to be filled with crap
one day
as Don prattled on
“Moniqueth got these fat
puthy lipth.
It’th like getting fucked and blown
thimultaneouthly.
I got her tho good,
thlamming that puthy tho hard.
Her labia got bright crimthon
like a baboon’th bottom,” he told me
I was peeved
he just put an unwanted intermission
right in the middle of
Joe Vs. The Volcano
“Don! Everyone knows you’re gay.
It’s fine, everybody’s cool with it.
Just stop pretending.
No straight guys
talk about fat labias.
That’s what lesbians do.
You listen to your dyke friends talk,
dontchya?”
From then on Don was silent around me
occasionally I’d see him with the new temps
telling them of his conquests
exploits and affairs
if he hadn’t been so delusional
so abjectly pitiable
he’d have been hit with sexual harassment suits
dozens of times over
but as it was
we all hoped someday
he’d come clean
and start telling us
about all the wondrous cocks
and tremendous assholes
those long nights
could’ve used the honesty

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