In his treatise
On Somnambulatory Copulation Strategies
Saint Thomas Aquinas suggested
to, in the sleepwalker’s path,
lay a coin
and he who stoops to acquire
is not a man of the Lord
rendering unto Caesar
and thus as worthy
a good bit of torpid buggery
as any secular ass
however, a second suggestion
was laid out for when
slumber-bug might be found
staggering off from bed
on either an early or late Friday
to simply dab upon prick’s end
a dab of fish glue
and thereon stick
a morsel of pork
and if when waved below
slumberous pedestrian’s nose
their mouth doth water
and hungrily yawn
then jam all in, thrust content
until thou art jolly
and thy load is spent
For clear reasons
one might guess
from the flock these teachings were deemed
in dire need of remaining concealed
as much as all God’s glory
is considered a must to be revealed
this was one of the cases
where it was assumed the masses
would find questionable
the theological issue
and veritably, too much to swallow
amongst, however, the clergy high
in close regard to this day
is the seminal work held
Midland Prose 