Daughter of God

The first one didn’t go right
it was a problem of chromosomes
without the male seed
it was more or less a clone
but imbued with divinity

Everything had gone as planned
it’s like the story you know
except rather than a manger
Mary and Joseph shacked up in a cave
there were, as called for:
wisemen (three of those)
shepherds (a handful)
and even a midwife
although she arrived late
as the baby
not keen to wait
was born while Joseph
ran around a small nearby village
banging on doors in a mad panic
seeking one out
he knew it took too long
when water stopped flowing
birds in the sky froze in flight
not even the wind continued to blow
this was time completely stopping
just a dead stand still
caused by God’s total shock

At first He was confused
what the fuck
His son didn’t have a penis
then He realized indeed
a cock it was not
‘cause it was a cunt
once the rude surprise subsided
He quickly got the universe going again
expansion resumed
planets carried on in their course
waves crashed upon shores
rain fell and stars exploded
all was in order
except for the baby
specifically, its vagina
the wisemen recoiled in horror
and withheld their gifts
the shepherds fled as swiftly as their sheep
what a mess
He couldn’t very well have any witnesses
so He struck the three kings of Orient dead
fell the shepherds as they ran
and, for good measure, their sheep too
rams, lambs, ewes and all
as the last bleat faded
Joseph and the midwife made it to the cave
Gabriel appeared to explain the SNAFU
ordered the midwife to expose the babe
high on the hillside
but when she refused to participate in deicide
God melted her face off
and had Joseph do it
while her husband was out
He got Mary pregnant again
and hurried up the gestational progress
when Joseph returned
he found Mary’s belly full and round
and a message painted on the cave wall
in afterbirth and feces
“You got three days
this time
try and make it to the fucking inn,”
but of course you know that story
they got there late
and had to stay in the stable

As for the daughter of God
we’re probably better off without her
she’d have surely grown up to be
one hell of a feminazi

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