Be Still My Nihilism

In sickness, health
feverish delusion and lucidity
the immense weight of its truth
compresses me, restricts and binds me
crushes all totally
until I am the perfect diamond
shaped, polished
without flaw
except unless
you consider the whole thing a flaw
a flawless flaw
flaying life’s sugarcoat
all raw nerve and death beneath
and yet still under that
in that grip I am squeezed
condensed into reverse prismatic purity
to focus the anti-light
lasers of absence
pouring out of me
none shall love
none shall hate
none shall run hot or cold
or medium mild or cool
even indifference is lost
under this factual pressure
how much would I rather
love a lie
a rainbow’s promise
arcing ’cross the sky
a spectrum of possibility
a universe full of meaning
than to be forced to my knees
into unopposable submission
to the singular unromantic
dead heart
unbeating at reality’s core


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