A Short Conversation About Feng Shui

“I don’t have the room laid out right.”

“Looks okay to me.”

“No, no. The way it is now will poison us.”

“Poison?”

“Different parts of the room have different energies
depending on the alignment of the room
it’s feng shui
there’s an interior design with nodes
nodes for wealth, health, love
power and wisdom.”

“What is this again?”

“Feng shui.”

“Oh.”

“It’s common practice in China
even their architects
design buildings
based on feng shui’s rules.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re thinking it though.”

“I’m not thinking anything.”

“Well, don’t. I’m serious about this. You’ll see.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“See! There. You said something.”

“I just said I’m sure I’ll see.”

I’m sure I will.”

“I didn’t say it that way.”

“Close enough.”

“Oh, please. Where’s the TV I left you?”

“It’s bad to have a TV
in the room where you sleep.”

“It’s bad?”

“It sucks out positive energy
it’s a portal that lets bad energy in
and pulls good energy out.”

“Even if it’s off?”

“Yes. If you have to have a TV in the room
they say you can drape it in red fabric
and hang a crystal over it to neutralize the portal.”

“I don’t want a TV in the room
I gave it to you because I thought you did.”

“No. Not anymore.
and the toilet lid should always be closed
before you flush it.”

“Why? Is it another portal?”

“It can flush away positive health energy
with the water.”

“Are you kidding?”

“I am not kidding
it’s all in the book
here
you should read it
so you understand.”

“I understand.”

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