Merry F%#@ing Christmas

Once there was a time when we could all say
Merry Christmas or happy holidays

Then one day it was a contentious choice
In how we told other folk to rejoice

Sides were taken in an annual war
That never even existed before

What should have been a joyous time of year
Was swallowed by a paranoid fear

Holidayers would steal away their words
And Merry Christmas would seldom be heard

Magic words for the Christmasers mattered
For them this greeting was more than chatter

They didn’t care to simply be polite
Their culture’s at stake in the this holy fight

On teevee they shout until they’re red-faced
Agitating an angry mob debased

They bluster over perceived offenses
Without a hope to come to their senses

So in how you wish others be cautious
For you might just make your neighbors nauseous

Take as a warning this dear little ode
Or else you could make right wing heads’ explode

That’s what Christ would fucking say
Merry-fucking Christmas
Every merry fucking day


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