Unmasked ’78

the day after I turned six
when my sister was not yet two months
I held her in my arms
before her eyes
I danced a stormtrooper
as Darth Vader confessed
through difficult breaths
to her his darkside dreams
these plastic toys, gifts acquired from the party
they remain still now in my closet
unchanged figurines
ageless faces under masks
I can see the appeal
hooded executioners never grow old
the KKK of today is as Downy fresh
as them of yesterday
under white sheets
free of time
but the static does cling
even KISS saw the gravity of their wrinkles
and hid quick-creeping decrepitude in paint
the better to pretend at continued youth
rock soldiers come
and rock soldiers go
as do mountains, only faster
to disguise the decline
putrescence beneath pantomime
nothing cloaks the stain inside
as once six year old boys have four year old sons
and baby girls of two moons
raise daughters of two and six suns
there’s no cowering under cover from the progression
you will be had
and the devil will get the ace in his deck

Lover, Punisher, Destroyer

prophesy breeds policy
specific interpretations, biased
a zealot’s foundation
for a future
raised on fleeting religious ephemera
he teases meaning
out of biblical Tea leaves
unable to love
he imagines god’s love
unable to take pleasure in life
he pleads for pleasure after life
unable to tolerate the joy of others
he fantasizes for them a hell
his hateful convictions
of his fellow creatures
demands a sentence…
torments everlasting and exquisite
unable to punish
he dreams of a punisher
a place of perishment for his enemies
who are, conveniently as always,
enemies the same as his lords’
a powerful master
forever stooping to do the bidding of His slaves
to fulfill their wishes
their prophetic wrath
unable to destroy
he makes a hero of a destroyer
and prays for the end
his is unable to bring to his own neck

Class

in Abyss 101 you will learn
how it swallows you up
not much else is to be revealed
endless emptiness
self-loathing
dreams of lustful delusion
but you already knew
all that
but if you might come to choose
should you, would you
The Abyss as a major
get more into the specifics
many new things, small
unkind, helpless
deceptive joy
awaits your discovery
through erudition
an exploration of how you are you
much there is to learn
in fun, mutual pleasure
you will be taught fear
the pain of doubt
lessons in worrisome inadequacy
nothing – your actions
none of them – satisfactory
forever trapped in this syllabus
as a fresh-blooded girl
crying her menstrual self asleep
into night terrors of uncle rape
and boyfriend laughter
these are the particulars that advance the degree
to where alcohol and drugs smile
friends you never had who pledge loyalty
unto you
eternal
as more humans – acquaintances
and acquaintant lovers
move your sheets, blanket your thoughts
make you theirs
in them, their thoughts
inside others is your true abyss
where you live or die
by rejection, acceptance
frustration and fruits of joy
in this class, this abyss
this classroom Abyss
you are outside looking in
inside wanting out
always out-classed
endlessly underclassman
until you extend your hand out
to these honest pals
hire them on
make them work for you
pushing yourself up
one step
in class

Windows

as she eats she kills
death becomes her
every cell, every movement fueled
her breath and the scent on it
when she looks at you
it is through eyes
fed on the dead
eyes that continue to hunger
stereoscopic vision
by millions of years honed for the hunt
predatory sight
fatal gaze
bred for conquest, consumption
for bread, to reap, sow
to stalk and slay
murder staring down the ages
the windows to the soul are bloodshot

What’s it All Mean?

Faith is an answer
to a foolish question
asked desperately
in a moment of harmful nonsense
as you search for meaning
as you seek a higher truth
certain of design and destiny
you stumble upon a quest – religion –
an adventure as bold as any other
to have a sense of ultimate purpose
one driven from above
an omnipotent other as guide
a force outside your own selfish desires
surrender, feeble marionette
driven to your knees
hands clasped
weak-willed words beg the master’s scraps
crumbs of generosity
to the dog and the pig
wisdom and forgiveness granted begrudgingly
pray, plead, pester
serf, servant, sucker
pay your respects
pledge your allegiance
no difference will be made
ask a stupid question
get a stupid answer: God

Divorced With Children

The twist, the burn
enfolding spore
bloodless, suckless
cataract whore
winding ways into damp
entrenched enemy camp
dark as gaps in the Earth
entombed tight manly girth
soil, seed and flesh to stretch
coming out cowardly wretch

the heat, the urn
reductive ash
homeless, luckless
bereft of cash
finding truth to set free
trapped outside thoroughly
set to seek roads back in
perilous path collap’sin’
stuck alone broken home
left in your void to roam

the loss, the turn
intruding past
childless, faithless
sadly cast

Videoda

do over or do over not
there is no retry

My Point

You love your voice
to hear yourself speak
sing a song, communicate
fill your lungs and scream

You love your food
to eat, savor, hold it lovingly on the tongue
display your culinary prowess
feed as much as you can feed

You love your fuck
to find, feel, encourage and engage
movements of limbs, body to body
orchestrated caress of fingertips

is it surprising
any of this
as mundane as dirt
matters more of plant than pleasure
and certainly
love is just another word for evolution
where emotion is most powerful
there you will find what you were born to do
you are a meat machine easily deceived
simply made to feel
like a master; not a slave
it’s why your smart brains delight in debates
“does man possess free will?”
I bet the answer
is whatever makes you feel best
and that my automaton friend
is my point proven

Teen Angst

it was an angst-filled teen
who declared to me how
the world sucks
but I said to her smiling
it hardly needs be
when you consider
in quiet moments alone
all for you
the wind blows
and the sun goes down

Stopless Buck

hexed fires burn inverted
spread deep shadows in sunshine
sweep cities away
into haunted ashen nightscapes
scorch across farmland and prairie
lick blackly up mountainsides
finally to melt white virgin snows
to inky run-off streams of pitch
flooding valleys below
smoke choking out the sun
days of light put to permanent end
snuffed in rising tendril flames
like molasses fingers gently plucking
a lullaby singing life asleep
a horrible spell of witching darkness
but the only magic here at work
is man’s awful blindness
his foul deliberate ignorance
and amazing powers of delusional denial
we cast the curse upon ourselves
in extinction’s grip dreaming reasons
unto the end
how we are not to blame